i love my husband. I Love My Husband. I LOVE MY HUSBAND.
Sometimes a gal just has to “remind” herself. Right? ;)
This morning started like almost any other weekday morning in my life. Hubbit was working at the firestation and I was in Full-On Momma Mode.
Like any other morning, I pulled Kid #1 out of bed, shoved a homemade breakfast in his face (toast does qualify, right?), helped him get dressed, packed his lunch and got him to school exactly two minutes before his tardy bell rang. Winning.
Then, I came back home, pulled Kid #2 out of bed, threw him in the shower, nagged him until he got dressed, shoved Pop Tarts in his hand and got him to school exactly three minutes before HIS tardy bell rang. Winning.
After I got home from dropping Kid #2 off, I started settling in for a quiet day of who-knows-what-when-you-live-MY-life. Much to my surprise, about 10 minutes later, I heard keys rattling at the front door and in walked my lovely husband…and the entire Engine 21 crew.
Instead of finding the June Cleaver wife my husband has always dreamed of turning me into, meeting them at the door wearing a lovely apron, sporting perfectly curled hair and welcoming them in with a plate of nice warm cookies I’d woken up at 5am to bake, “just in case” company stopped by…
There I sat. In my pajamas.
My hair looked like I’d just gone through either an Oklahoma tornado or beauty pageant nightmare (either one would have resulted in the same look, I’m certain). And obviously, since I make it a habit of NOT looking in a mirror immediately upon waking, there was no way I would have noticed the black mascara smudged down my cheeks.
Yep, instead of June Cleaver: High on Life, I looked more like June Cleaver: High On Crack. (That’s what you get when you don’t take 20 seconds to give your wife a “head’s up” call, HUBBIT.)
The real kicker wasn’t really my appearance though, as anyone who knows me understands you can likely find me looking this way on any given meeting-less-Monday-morning until at least 11am. After all, one of the biggest perks of working from home is able to “waller” in your own filth-sorrow-illness-pity-whatever on Monday morning.
Side Note: I’m constantly trying to explain to people that just because I work at home and can choose to look like a $2 hooker until noon (if I choose to do so), I actually DO work. In fact, most nights I’m up until 2am working on a press release, a white paper or some type of marketing strategy for one of several million dollar companies twelve hundreds miles or more from here. These big companies don’t care if I have mascara smudged down my face like a drunk Christina Aguilera. They don’t care if I’m surrounded by a hoard of tiny dogs. All they care about is the bottom line, baby. And, I never fail to deliver!
While I do work like a dog, Hubbit works 100+ hours EVERY FLIPPIN’ WEEK. He’s a machine. What can I say? Trying to keep up with his Superior Superman Skills (inside joke, sorry) and work ethic, when my work is slow and I don’t have any meetings scheduled, I will occasionally substitute teach.
Before you freak out thinking, “Good Grief, they will let anyone teach our children these days”, let me assure you…I am qualified. Or, so says the Master’s degree in Teaching it took me two years to earn. ;) Of course, I’ve been so insanely busy for the past few months, I’ve subbed a total of ZERO times this year. Hubbit has asked me a few times if I’ve had any substitute offers, and each time I’ve explained there haven’t been many offers coming through, which is basically true.
BUT, low and behold! Last night my phone rang with a substitute teaching offer for today. Hubbit randomly happened to be near my phone when it rang and when he saw on the Caller ID the call was coming from the Sub Line, he offered to answer it so I could accept the job. I quickly dismissed the idea, telling him this was going to be a completely overwhelming week with work and had absolutely NO time to take on anything extra. He made a joke about me declining the only sub job I’d been offered this year and with that, I went into a Full-20-Minute-Soapbox-Rant about how I not only worked my tail off, but I also did my best at keeping the house together, managing the kids’ schedules, volunteering and pretending to be a Rockstar on the weekends. Good Grief!
SO…
After patiently and lovingly listening last night to his cahhrazeee wife going on and on and on and on and on about having SO MUCH to do she couldn’t even BREATHE…
You can imagine his complete surprise when he and the Engine 21 crew walked into our messy house unexpectedly, on this “completely overwhelming” Monday morning, and found me…
Sitting on my comfy couch.
Surrounded by tiny dogs.
Stuffing my face with an omelet.
And watching…The Kardashians.
Winning?
Whitney
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. (Unknown)
