All my life I’ve been the type of person who is very easily affected by everything around me, which is why I try my best to steer clear of most news mediums. After getting my undergrad degree in political science, which constantly required me to be informed about the events of government, I backed completely away from the media.
Well, to be honest I backed away from the media “that counts”.
Each day I still check out AOL News! Of course, the stories I choose to click on mostly fill my brain with nonsense information about which celebrity is going to rehab or which television show is about to premier.
I also keep “up-to-date” by scanning Twitter at night when I can’t sleep. It’s amazing what you can learn via Twitter! Did you know, there is a real life Sleeping Beauty in England who dozes for two weeks at a time? Or, that water boiled in a microwave, can explode? (Follow @OMGFacts for more useless information like this.)
Of course, I still haven’t decided if I scan Twitter because I can’t sleep or if I can’t sleep because I’m constantly scanning Twitter. Hmm…
Whether Twitter is the culprit or not, I'm totally serious about this sleeping problem. Not only do I have a difficult time falling asleep, but also staying asleep for more than a few hours. Last night I went to bed at 9:30pm because I was exhausted from not sleeping the night before and thought it might be great to hit the hay early. But, what happened? Well, since Hubbit was at the fire house all night, both kids piled in my bed and insisted I sleep in the middle of them. We were all freezing because I’d forgotten to turn the heat back on, and when I looked at the thermostat, it was a frigid 66 degrees in the house!
Living in Kentucky can be difficult for those of us who have trouble remembering even the most basic things, like the need for heat when it’s 30 degrees outside. With the weather going from 4 degrees one day to 65 the next, it’s all too overwhelming to remember. Ugh.
Anyhow, because we were shivering, I added two extra blankets onto the bed and we all snuggled up to enter Dreamland. After I figured out how to rub the backs of two kids on each side of me at the same time (spoiled kids), I fell asleep quickly. I was completely content nestled between two Snuggle Bunnies, but woke up about three hours later feeling like I’d been thrown into the desert to bake. I was sweating, nauseous and the worst part…wide awake.
I was able to peel myself carefully out of the middle of the bed and sat in front of a fan to cool off for a few moments. But, because I’d been following the flippin’ “real-not-AOL-or-Twitter-news” all evening, I could not go back to sleep.
Each time I closed my eyes, I imagined a crazy psychopath-creepy-freak lurking in my tiny 12 inch bushes, then busting down my door with his vicious ninja kick and sneaking past my five bark-at-anything-that-moves-or-drives-into-our-court-dogs. Of course, while hiding in the bushes or breaking down the door might be possible, sneaking past my five yappers is not realistic. But, at 1am in the morning I am not a very rational person.
Sure, this problem will hopefully resolve itself soon and I’ve certainly been here/done that when it comes to insomnia. But, the longer it persists, the more I’m at risk of dangers like:
1) Spending ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculous infomercial items like the iRenew Bracelet (my newest pet peeve), Slim Ts, Fushigi Balls, a Kangaroo Keeper or…the infamous Shake Weight.
2) Being a total witch every morning, of every day, forEVER.
To avoid these hazards, I’m trying to find non-medicated ways to cure my insomnia.
Here’s what I’ve tried so far:
Scanning Twitter. (Fail: Again, this may be a contributor to my insomnia, although I’m not sure enough to give up the Twitter night-habit altogether. Addicted, what?)
Sleeping with a bat beside my bed. (Fail: I’m thinking a Barbie pink Glock at my side might make me feel a bit more secure and Flea is complaining I’m stealing his best bat for the “stupidest reason”.)
Positioning my five dogs around me, from head to toe, like a force field of yapping protection. (Fail: Not only was I sweating like a pig, the puppy pile was not at all comfortable to be part of. How do puppies sleep like that?!)
Drinking enough milk to put a normal person in a sleep coma, right before bed. (Fail: Only made me have to pee every twenty minutes.)
Daily exercise. (Fail: I’ve been to the flippin’ gym almost every day for the past two weeks and the only thing I have to show for it is sore legs. And, just so you know, the same people who proclaim daily exercise will help cure insomnia are also wrong about exercise boosting your energy. I’ve barely moved since getting home from the gym this morning. They’re liars. Skinny lairs, at that!)
What I’ve thought about doing, but haven’t:
Putting my exercise bike in front of my bedroom door, just in case the psychopath-creepy-freak tried to ninja kick his way in.
Let my body have its way by staying up all night to work and sleeping all day while the kids are at school.
Ordering The Ultimate Lock (Look up the one by Ron Daniels. He’s a great guy and it’s an amazing product.)
It would be easy to solve this problem if I could just hold strong to my motto of never watching the “real-not-AOL-or-Twitter-news”, but last night apparently there was some type of psychopath-creepy-freak running around my side of town on a shooting spree, and my curiosity got the best of me.
Well, that and the fact I’m one of “those” firefighter wives who gets a little nervous when her husband is working in the same area of the psychos, which I’m beginning to believe is the majority of this city. Because I knew Hubbit was responding to the scene of the shootings, I felt inclined to monitor the news like a maniac until I’d heard from him.
The good news: Hubbit’s fine, the bad guy has been caught and there is at least one less psychopath-creepy-freak running around our city.
The bad news: I’m so exhausted from my lack of sleep, I can’t manage to get myself off the sofa.
The silver lining: Blogging can be done from anywhere and the sofa is as good of a place as any to throw some more of my ridiculousness out into the blogging world! ;)
Whitney
“Nothing cures insomnia like the realization it’s time to get up.” (Unknown Author)
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