However, Hubbit apparently likes to read my blog and has requested a posting. So, I’m trying my best to muster up something somewhat entertaining, to amuse him with this evening.
It’s more than a little challenging when my brain is practically mush from researching.
BUT, here’s my humble attempt…
Today was pretty insane with the boys being home sick with fevers and throats that looked like Puffles from Club Penguin. (If you don’t have kids, you probably don’t get that reference, at all. Sorry.) We took them to the doctor, did a little shopping and have been home for most of the day.
So, sadly enough, the most entertaining part of my day involved trimming the dogs’ toenails.
Don’t judge me. If you think this menial task might seem ridiculously UNamusing, you’ve never seen it happen at my house!
Dog #1: It all started with me struggling to grip a tiny chihuahua’s foot and cut his toenails, while Hubbit had to hold him UPSIDE down just so he would stop trying to attack my FACE. Yoda is street ninja. Seriously.Dog #2: I was dealing with a scared-stiff dog, which worked out to my advantage. No drama here from Chubbs (who happens to be one of the slimmest dogs we own and was terribly mis-named).
Dog #3: Chowder is our Drama King dog of the house. This dog actually hyperventilated during the process. Oh Em Gee. He was breathing so rapidly, he started “honking”. Drahaama! Hubbit and I looked at each other a few times, silently thinking, “If this dog stops breathing, YOU’re going to be the one doing CPR…not ME”. Thankfully, we were able to quickly cover his head with a hand towel (so he could no longer see the procedure) and he recovered fully.
Dog #4: Mr. Pickles is the “old man” of our strange herd and he squeals like a dying pig if even the wind blows his way. So, you can only imagine the ridiculousness he brings to the toenail clipping arena. He is a total sweetheart to me when the clippers are safely in the drawer, but when he saw them in my hand, he went completely vicious on me. Hubbit thought it was hilarious and was laughing so hard he kept losing his grip on the 5 pound chihuahua…allowing him to BITE ME continuously. So much for the tag team protection! Thanks, Hubbit. Thanks a bunch.
Dog #5: God Bless her. It’s odd, but she bites her own toenails. So, I’ve never had to clip them. How did I get so lucky to have the world’s only dog who is capable of giving herself a manicure? Zoe rocks!
By now (if you didn’t already know), you’ve realized I have five dogs. Yep. What really bothers me about this is I could never be one of those people who puts those little stick family members and pets on the back of their car because...well...my Swagger Wagon's rear window wouldn’t be big enough.
Imagine:
1 fireman dad
1 guitar-playing momma
1 baseball-playing big brother
1 art-loving little brother
AND
1 tiny Chihuahua
1 slightly larger Chihuahua
1 extremely “fluffy-not-fat” Jackawawa
1 trim Jackawawa who’ll never outlive his days of baby fat because his name is…Chubbs
1 giant Weiner dog
Sigh.
Well, that’s it.
If you didn’t think I was crazy before, then:
1) This must be the first blog of mine you’ve read.
2) You can (without question) safely assume I am now.
* On a positive note: I've made head-way in the arena of not hitting Hubbit's truck while backing out of the garage. We've (meaning Hubbit, not me) decided today that I'm now going to instead learn how to back INTO the garage so I can see his truck fully when pulling out facing forward. Heh! I'm taking bets on how long it will take for me to back completely up the driveway...through the garage...and INTO my kitchen.
Whitney
You can always trust the information given to you by people who are crazy; they have an access to truth not available through regular channels. (Sheila Ballantyne)
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