Flea and the Bully

My new favorite show is Parenthood. If you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s an hour of bliss each week and Hubbit and I are always sad when each episode is over. We just can’t get enough of it!

The reason I’m telling you this is because one of the main characters on the show (Adam Braverman) has a son with Asperger’s (Max). Last week on the show, they were standing in line at the grocery store, a bystander called Max a “retard” and Adam punched the jerk right in the face. Hubbit and I cheered for Adam, thinking we would have done the exact same thing.

BUT, what do you do when the “jerk” is an 11 year old boy?

What do you do when you overhear your son and his friend talking about how that 11 year old “jerk” called YOUR SON a retard?

If you’re me, you get mad. Then you cry.

B, who I’ll refer to from now on as Flea (for reasons only he understands) was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome last April after a very lengthy diagnosis process which left our entire family pretty drained. Flea immediately became an advocate and decided he would do his best to educate others and raise money for the Tourette Syndrome Association (he raised over $1200 last year). We agreed as a family there was nothing to be ashamed of and he should be proud to be himself. He talked to his classmates, wrote essays and poems about it and wore his TS badge with pride and dignity. His friends didn’t care and have been nothing but 100% supportive.

Don’t get me wrong, there were times (and still are times) when it’s challenging for him. It’s not easy. But, overall he functions like a typical sassy 10-year-old boy who only lets his mother kiss his cheek if no one’s looking.

So, I was really shocked today when I picked him and one of his best friends up from school. His pal was talking about how the “jerk” had called Flea a retard. Not just once, but multiple times. He apparently is bullying Flea. The “jerk” was rallying other kids saying there was something wrong with Flea and “you could just tell he was a retard”. He then proceeded to tell Flea he would never be anything but a grocery-bagger-guy (Grocery bagging specialist? Grocery cashier assistant? Don’t hate me for not knowing the proper term for this job.)

I hate that I feel like I even have to justify this but just in case someone who doesn’t know us personally comes across this blog, I want to be clear.

Flea is brilliant.
He is creative.
He’s never earned a B. All A’s in the most advanced classes offered at his school.
He’s in the Gifted and Talented program at school.
He wins Science Fairs, gets elected as Class President and is an All-Star baseball player.
He’s a teacher favorite and has the most loyal friends I’ve ever witnessed anyone having.
He is BRILLIANT.

So, why would the “jerk” call him this?

I would like to believe it has nothing to do with anything other than the fact he is jealous. But, as a mother to a child with a unique disease I feel more than defensive. I knew these days would come and they would be difficult.

What do I want to do?

WELL…

I WANT to march my butt right over to 555 Jerk Street, knock on the door and let his incredibly sweet parents know just how horrible their child is.

I WANT to grab the jerk by his ear and tell him exactly why bullying is wrong.

I WANT to scream, shout and make him feel as bad as Flea (and maybe me) feels.

What will I do?

I don’t know.

All I know right now is I’m heartbroken.

Whitney

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” (unknown)