For two weekends in a row, Hubbit and I have enjoyed date nights. This is quite rare because we usually only get babysitters (which aren’t really babysitters and are instead grandparents) to watch the kids if I have a gig. Since patio weather is over and I rarely play out in the colder months, we’ve had some opportunities to just hang out together. It’s been really lovely…or crazy (depends on who you ask).
So, what did we do?
Last week it was Bingo (my idea), this week the theatre (his idea). Interesting combo?
Listen, while I like to think I’m fairly cultured, artistic and have been called snobby more times than have been justified, the truth is I like redneck things. After all, I did marry Hubbit, right? ;)
I might hesitate to admit it but I love big trucks, bon fires, blue collar folks…and Bingo. Or, at least I thought I did.
So, I got a great idea to find a local Bingo game (there’s one almost every night, who knew?!)and drag Hubbit to it. For those of you unfamiliar with us, Hubbit is a redneck in every sense of the word. His favorite song is “A Country Boy Can Survive”, thinks cutting the sleeves off of a t-shirt makes a dandy tank-top and drives a huge truck.
(Side note: The Magic Eraser ROCKS. I accidentally backed into his huge truck yesterday because I can’t seem to find the skills to back out of my garage, putting a big blue streak down its white side. But, before Hubbit woke up from his nap I managed to completely get rid of the scrape with a Magic Eraser. I was thrilled!!)
But, even though he embraces his redneck soul, Bingo is not for Hubbit.
I should explain, this is not your grandma’s Bingo. These people are serious. Some were dressed well but most looked like they were spending their last $10 on trying to win enough cash to pay their “rent”. At least I hope it was their “rent” they were trying to finance.
Bingo Etiquette:
1) Stand in line for 45 minutes just to get your Bingo packet (which consists of like 18-36 Bingo cards PER GAME).
2) Sit down but under no circumstances in Martha's lucky seat she won her last $599 pull-tab in six months ago.
3) Spread out your twenty Bingo dobber markers, which you retrieved from a custom made Bingo dobber suitcase, just in case a few go dry during the $1000 game.
4) Be quiet and unless you want to get lynched...turn your cell phone ringer DOWN.
We were clearly unprepared and even though I thought Hubbit was a redneck, even he looked completely out of place.
Thankfully, I made friends with a lovely Bingo-a-holic named Rita in line (with Hubbit making faces at me the whole time she wasn’t looking, questioning why I had to talk to people everywhere we went). As Rita left the line to save us a seat near her, I explained to him if we wanted to win the “big prize”, we clearly needed some insider information and he just rolled his eyes. Rita took us under her wing and did her best to keep Hubbit from having a redneck melt down. While we couldn’t keep up even when giving it our full 100% concentration, Rita read a book WHILE PLAYING BINGO. This woman could multi-task like no other!
Even though she tried, we were S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D! We quickly figured out Bingo wasn’t as fun as I’d thought it would be.
There was one game of Speed Bingo where they asked everyone in the room to be silent and they called numbers one after another, super-fast. Hubbit got so frustrated because it was impossible to keep up. So, instead of sitting quietly he starts huffing and puffing (which really means saying curse words not-so-under his breath because the man can’t whisper).
He then loudly crumbles up his Bingo card sheet and throws it in the trash. All of the regulars looked at him like he was insane. Then, his phone proceeds to ring…in the middle of the sacred silent period. People were ticked. If he weren’t a giant, we might have been done-for. Don’t get in between Momma and her “rent” money!
Oh. Em. Gee.
The good news is this weekend was much calmer. Hubbit surprised me a few months ago with tickets to my favorite musical and last night he took me. It was a great show and even he enjoyed it, which was an unexpected benefit. He’s not a musical guy but apparently he loves me enough to endure them...and Bingo.
Whitney
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson
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