Facebook Costs Me $1200 A Month. What?!

I’m the first to admit, I spend way too much of my day on Facebook. I mean, who can argue it’s not a gigantic waste of time? Will my life really be changed dramatically if I don't see Betty is in a "relationship but it's complicated" or Bobby is having steak tips for dinner (complete with a picture of them cooking on his brand new Weber grill he's searching for an excuse to show off to his FB "friends")?

No, it won't. But, I still log on multiple times a day.

The fact my iPhone quickly and easily connects to it only makes my addiction worse and Heaven forbid I forget my phone and can’t immediately see my email or Facebook account. Oh. Em. Gee!

I start jonesin’ like I’m a Crack Momma without her juice.

Side Note: Ok, I have NO idea what they call it…but juice sounded pretty good. No? Maybe it would be better to say, I start jonesin’ like a toddler without her sippy cup. Not even close? Ok, I give up. The truth is, I will never know what they call it because even Tylenol gives me the Heebie-Jeebies, I only take antibiotics if I’m half-dead and you can FORGET about trying to get me to take a flu shot. Hmph.

Back to the point of my blog…I get sidetracked so easily. I’m always leaving things cooking on the stove and getting side tracked doing laundry or something else, only to find Hubbit has finished dinner without me even remembering I was cooking. He’s so great like that. Ya know, great at keeping the house from catching on fire and all that good stuff? I wonder if Alzheimer’s can start at age twenty-ten. Hmm.

Ok, you catch my drift, right?

Anyhow…

It’s great Facebook is free and all, but I’ve actually figured out with the work I DON'T get done due to wasting time on the site, Facebook costs me about $300 a week!

SERIOUSLY?! Seriously? seriously.

Wow. I really AM like a Crack Momma. I’m wasting $1200 a month on my addiction and don't even have any cute shoes to show for it.

Not only am I wasting money using it but Facebook kind of annoys me. Now, I know you know what I mean.

What I’m trying to say is, some of my FB "friends" do the Tango on my very last nerve, at least twice a week. It can be extremely challenging to bite my tongue, as it’s really not in my genetic makeup. (Those of you who know my mother, understand this. hehehe)

This is why I’d argue the best part of Facebook is the “Hide” button. (Don’t act like your feelings are hurt because I’m sure a lot of you “hide” me when I get on my crazy rants too. And don’t fret. I usually “unhide” you after a while).

Reasons To Love The Facebook “Hide” Button:

1) It offers some type of insanely ridiculous passive aggressive satisfaction. Like me “hiding” you really “sticks it to ya”. Heh!
2) It provides the closest thing we’ll ever have to the Human Mute Button.
3) It allows me to temporarily ::poof:: you from my life, without you even knowing it. Like magic, I can ::poof:: you in and ::poof:: you out. Yes Sir!

Since Facebook obviously costs me too much G-Money (Benjamins? Green? Bread? Clams? Ugh. I’ll never be “gangsta” and for some unusual reason that makes me a little sad), I’d love to go on some soapbox-holier-than-thou-rant about how I’m giving Facebook up for 30 days and how you should do the same. In fact, if all of you go without Facebook for 30 days, I won’t miss anything. All will be well with the world and you’ll be making it much easier on me.

But, who am I kidding? Like me learning to back of my driveway without the need for a Magic Eraser...it's SO not going to happen.

Whitney

“I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh…try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” (Ellen)